I apologize.

I just had a sad dream, but a good one. A family member of mine who passed away at a very, unfair young age (15) was with me. He was confined to a wheelchair, which he was towards the end of his life. We were in some sort of "Haunted Mansion"-Esq museum and I was wheeling him around these morbid scenes of death. I didn't want him to see them. I thought why are we doing this?! He wheeled himself over to the window. I sat down next to him, which I only feel like I did maybe once, while he was sick...He took my hand and I asked him if he was OK. He started tearing up and didn't speak, which seemed like the cancer's doing. We put our heads together and held each other. This sort of unguarded tenderness I never truly had felt with him while he was alive...I felt just now it. It was the most vivid dream of my life? I woke up and immediately started sobbing..it was so overwhelming.I think that he was crying because I had forgotten him and that I was ungrateful for the life that I was leading and focusing on the negative etc. I hadn't thought of him in a while honestly, but he really did just visit me. And although confined to his wheelchair, he looked like his healthy self. He looked like he didn't need it. It was definitly him though, showing up in my dream. It was like he was trying to make me realize something, but couldn't tell me like he had to be quiet and let me see it myself. I woke up and sobbed. my face hurts and I've been awake for a half hour so I needed to get it out. Sorry for the blog to be depressing today. But I wanna take it as a sign.

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,

Who abide in His shadow for life,

Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,My Rock in Whom I trust."