wine can heal everything?

Hi. I having a bad day. Are you familiar? Not one of those bad harr days neither or one of those bad luck days... or one of those wrong side of the bed days.... Nope, one of those classic "i'd rather die than get out of bed days." My nose is beet red, and my eyes look like they've been stung by bees. I look like how I did in high school on a daily basis. I'd come into homeroom faking allergic reactions because my eyes were so goddamn puffy. I have tension in my forehead from crying like a baby.. just waling. (im not waling, I take that back) And then when asked "what for?!" I can't really say... only combinations of things that have always plagued me, things i don't want to pinpoint.-- anxieties from 10 years ago, anxieties from 10 months, 10 weeks, 10 days, 10 hours, 10 minutes ago> they all just poke me, prick me into submission. All I can do is lay in bed with them and sob for em, feel crippled by them. I am aware of how silly and self pitying these worries sound, but I am FAR from being in control of them. I have no control of it. That's how it feels anyway.
Mannheim Steamroller just came on my itunes. Soothing Christmas instrumental music could calm down a bull in a bull fight! And although I feel calm, I feel a nervous pit in my stomach. I feel inconsolable, and when someone tries to console me I feel bad for them because i know its futile.... or part of me "knows" that, even if it's not entirely true. This is what the blues feel like I suppose. On a happier note, my tears have never tasted better. I'm gonna look into bottling and selling them.
When I was little, my bed was ginormous. I had a step stool to get into it. It was a queen, four post bed. It seemed real high off the ground when I was at most 4.5 feet high. I remember rarely sleeping in it. Always would scramble like a hamster off to my parents bedroom around 2 am. I remember even christmas eve night...having to wait for my parents to put the gifts out and then sleeping with them. Although my bed was beautiful, I couldn't ever get a wink of sleep and the one time I did, I had a real vivid dream. I was rolling around on grass in the dream and then KABLAM. I rolled off of my bed and I remember my little body waking up mid air, it felt like 10 seconds before I hit my wood floor. I was still in a dream like state. It hurt to hit the floor. My head banged real hard and my boney, spikey hip hit real hard too. I was so shocked I started bawling. Sleep has never been easy.